"Forever" *Poetry by Linda X Avalos

Updated: Oct 5, 2018

Today is a day, Day 1 of yesterday, Day 2 of tomorrow.

Nothing is stopping me...except me.

Where? What? How? and I want it all now.

Pay my dues. Live my life. So much, so little, all in one night.

How can I believe? Without you? Do I even want you in my life?

Maybe, for a moment... just a moment in time.

A moment, that's all, to set me free, to breathe, to not think, to allow control to take over.

I'm over this situation of penetrating thoughts in an abysmal labyrinth that has no end.  Twists and turns... I see the light. I feel the light... growing, shinning.

Where oh where? I hear, I hear my angels call near, and then in an instant your reflection: a picture, a memory, begins to take me down the path, deeper into the maze of my past, and the future that could be, could have been.

That's just my imagination.

You left! You left! And now I scream.

But no one hears me. Lying in my sleep. Could it be? Does....anyone...care...?

When I wake, Will you still be there?

In my life? Or in my dreams? In my past? Or in my "to be"?

The future, we know, it's not promised.

So I wait then, I create, then I wait some more. "To whom do you show your allegiance?" a man, a king, cries out afar...Where am I now?

Flashes, of this life or perhaps 5 back, it all seems so jumbled and space means  nothing.

No time, no stopping...just continuing the emotional roller coaster that engulfs the inner me, the depth in my brain, the words of my soul, the tears in my eyes...those that haven't fallen, those yet to be shed.

All happiness and glory, tucked right next to those sad and lonely fears. Forever... Forgetting.

Forever now. Forever repeating. Forever now.... in the moment.

Tug of war, here and now.

Between the past and the present, and who I'm meant to be.

Why do I care, what others say? "It doesn't matter" I hear a voice...cry out & dig deep in the pit of Your Soul, of my soul.

Which is tender and ever loving so. 

I see the horizons way out far, between the sky and the earth. How heavently it seems.

Forever repeating and on and on, forever now.

Contemplating the distance, the where and how long.

My child soon asks me where have I been?

I blink my eyes, I see the clock. TIC...TOCK. 

A minute has gone by or maybe 2 or perhaps a few.

I stopped counting since I started this song.

This theme of my life that goes on and on.

How many lessons? How many dreams? How much reality is ripped @ the seams?...of my bubble?

Holding it all up: my creations, my laughter and a few parts of dream. 

Awake in this thinking...forever it seems.

Food for your soul, not food in your tummy, since nothing quenches this hunger of knowledge, of change, of more entertainment, of this continuing life. 

I've lived a few lives in this one! and it's not over yet.

I forget who I was, is that the point?

To drift in your life or mine or both of all of one, forever. Together ALL.

Blink with me, breathe with me as it is slowing down again.

Breathe in and out, so deeply with me, come with me now, I want to be with you, until I'm old, but that feels like tomorrow and that day never comes.

Join me in Harmony, listen to the voice, the one deep inside you, it's talking now.

(Your choice)

No outspoken words, not one person beside you, can you hear you now. Just me in my thoughts and you in yours.

Where will we go next?

Maybe together perhaps, in the next life, or after death.

This you-and-me situation was all that it gets.

Thank You, Thank You...the Sun finally sets. ... into your arms, into the night, we begin making history, your words or mine.

It's all the same, no one will know, where I end and you begin.

Telling the story of now, but for you, then, back then, way before unlimited minutes and seconds are waisting away, to the day of when, lost in the dreams, the magical place, where I can fly and no limits, on who I will be.

No lies, no parents, no growing-up to anything less than fun. A Great Life! is here to come!

Copyright 2012 Linda X Avalos aka "Ms. Xochitl"

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