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Birthday's For A (Recovering) Perfectionist

How to distinguish the difference individually.

My birthday just passed, as a matter of fact, I'm still celebrating 🥳. It is in Spring every year, in the Northern Hemisphere. This is only 4 months away from January 1st.

I feel weird from January to April, because it's a time for contemplation, master planning, evaluation, introspection, and assessing that which does not serve me, the lessons I learned, and the connections I have gained, as well as those that are no more.

I personally believe that many do not like acknowledging their birthday's because it is a reminder of where s/he is not in life, all the goals s/he has not accomplished... because, well IT IS exactly that! It's an anniversary of life, individually. A special (subjective) day that in family, partnerships and social circles we rejoice together with food, cake, candles, adult /beverages, etc.

The most challenging birthdays for me, were 25 and 35. It was because I said I was going to make a million dollars by 23 as a Real Estate Agent. I was not even done with getting my Bachelor's at the time. I still had one more year left and I was counting the weeks. I didn't need a degree to be in the real estate game, nonetheless, I wanted a career.

35 hit hard because I was closer to 40 and was wondering what did I have to show for it? I had just quit, for the last time, my corporate day job 6 months prior and had such a long way to go as an entrepreneur.

What is it about making these "marks" in life by such and such age. Get married & have kids before I'm X age, and reminding myself that it's 'ok' all those years when many friends were marrying. It wasn't too bad because growing up in a metropolis like Los Angeles, there really is so much more time and less pressure with an active social life.

Nonetheless, I felt it, the pressure, it's like a constant big shadow of my energy lurking behind me every year overshadowing and hovering over my shoulder. An inside voice shouting "What have you done this year? What's next? Is it good enough? Keep going. More, more, more"... as if I was an Energizer bunny.

I am a recovering perfectionist that has been extremely hard on myself. It's taken me years and decades to realize how hard and to not take myself so seriously.

How did I and do I get comfortable with where I am now?

  1. Keep My Faith: there have been so many times the Universe has proven over and over that no matter what I do, things will happen in Divine Timing. This doesn't mean I don't take any action towards any goals.

  2. Trust The Process: I remember, that I may not be ready to take on all the things just yet. "When the student is ready, the teacher will come". Life experiences are like math... foundational building blocks, can't do multiplication and division without adding & subtracting, and then there's fractions, geometry, algebra, trigonometry, pre-calculus, statistics, physics... the list goes on.

  3. There Is No Such Thing As Multi+Tasking, Effectively: I'm a woman, so I get that multi+tasking is in our nature. Yes, I can talk on the phone and wash dishes, and have some breakfast cooking on the stove. This is not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to juggling a business (hire someone to do your office, admin and tech roles), starting a consulting practice (marketing), have a day job for financial security (40 Hours +), start a new relationship and/or maintain one, family, health and throw in anything else in the mix... and I'm already exhausted thinking of it.

  4. Self Care: I cannot stress enough (pun intended) how imperative it is to practice DAILY self care. This can look like: meditating, journaling, listening to music, dancing, masturbating (yes, I went there), eating dark chocolate, a glass of red wine, social time, watching "Grace & Frankie" or "Schitt's Creek", travel, baths, facials, beauty time, and I could keep going...

  5. Love Where I Am: Stay grateful. Daily gratitude and sometimes just focusing on a moment by moment basis when life smacks me in the face. I breathe deeply often as I am connecting to Source/God/Universe/Angels/Higher Self and remembering that I have the opportunity to an Experience.... There's no need to play victim.

  6. BONUS: Ask Quality Questions to retrain my mind. If I already hit my targets then how would that rob me from my experiences, what I learned and the people along the path?

I'm imperfectly perfect. I embrace the challenges that come my way. I still get emotional yet my extremes are less than when I was in my 20s and 30s. As I enter my 4.2 version of myself, I am tickled with anticipation of what may come this year, the tears I will shed, the lessons that might knock me down or the way I get to gracefully take the next few steps towards my evolution.

This is My Journey. My Story©